Time pass by

It will pass. It will get easier. The fact that it will get easier doesn't mean that it won't hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. Don't do that. The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn't mean that it won't end, that it won't get better. Because it will. - John Green

Mermaids

Modern Mythology: Mermaids

From the Middle English mere meaning “sea” and maid, meaning “girl”, the mermaid is a legendary aquatic creature in a plethora of different cultures. In legend, they would sing to sailors at sea, enchanting them, and luring them to their deaths. No longer feared they trade in their tails for a pair of feet, returning only to the shallow waters of the sea in moments of nostalgia.

Alone

And just like that, it's June and I meant how fast is that? We already in the middle of 2015 and to be honest I'm not ready for this year to end. It can't be. There's so many things need to be done.

This past few months, I've been so busy and I know I haven't posted anything. It's not like there's nothing interesting happen but as I don't have time to updated it. I guess life in University isn't as fun as I thought before. It was, but at some point I don't really enjoy it. I did make some new friend but they just not like the 'friend' I thought they might be. It's hard. It's hard to find somebody whose demon play well with yours.  

Well, I've been spend most of my time alone. yeah, I rather be alone than be friend with a fake one. I riding bus and went to class alone. I drinking coffee and ate my lunch alone. I read book while listening to music alone. I guess it gives me time to think and set my mind free. 

But when I see a friend laughing with their best friend, a girl with her lover or a mother with her child, I realize even though I like being alone, I don't fancy being lonely. 

In Loving Memory

I know it is New Year, but I never thought to have a new start with this sad breaking news. You’re time has already come and I don’t know why. The last thing I heard you were doing just fine, it seems like just yesterday I was laughing with you. I know you are in good hands now. Having a beer for an old friend, rest in peace buddy. You will be missed. Memories will comfort until we meet again. Always loved and never forgotten. I believe death may be the last chapter in time, but the first chapter in eternity. Resting in Peace and Joy for all Eternity, my dear friend Eroney Anthony.

I wished there were a place for gracious dying,

A high place with a distant view.

Where we could gather for a celebration of life

and death and friendship, old and new.

I'd like a place where there would be good music,

Good food and wine - and laughter, games and fun -

And quiet talk with friends and good discussion 

Of what will happen when this life is done.

- Helen Ansley -

2015, Here We Go !

It's been a year and 2014 came to an end. yeah. It was but It is not the end of the world. It is just a beginning of something new. I don't know what. A beginning of something good or vice versa. 

So lets take a look on what happened in 2014, what we have been searching for through the year. I bet 2014, is the most remarkable year for everyone. 

Each and everyone of us have fighting to survive, because I know that life in this real world is never been easy. Sometimes, we found love along the journey but then we never thought that we have to lose it. Some found hope and courage to begin again. But for most of us, it always have been a lost. A lost of something or someone and there are no words can mend what is broken. 

For this new year, I wish to all of us may this new year remark a new beginning and may we found what we always looking for. Most of it, I wish all of us may we found 'LOVE' in each other. 

Free

There's good music..

And then there's music that reaches deep into your souls and calls you to action and makes you want to scream the lyrics from a rooftop and run around in circles and kiss people and spread kindness to the world and gives you this huge burst of energy and just makes you want to become a cool person. And that's when you know you've set yourself free.. 

Because I've been thinking.. I think the hardest part of losing someone you love, isn't having to say goodbye but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they finally walk away from your life..

Where do I began?

So, yess.. It's been a while. I almost forget when was the last time I'd updated my blog. It's seems like forever to me. I have gone for about 4 months and there's a lot to talk about. The problem is, I don't know where to begin.

It has been a busy weeks for me as now I'm currently studying here, at University of Malaysia Sabah. Taking my first degree in Music and It was a struggle actually since Music was not easy. I know a lot of people think so, but it is not. There's a lot of different things you have to study about music. Music itself, is actually a language and we have to learn how to speak in this type of language. I believe I'm doing the right thing since Music has always been my passion and one of the biggest influence in my life. So yeah, best of luck to me.

That's a little bit about what's going on with my life now. So, I have another 3 more years to spend for me to complete my study here. I've met a lot of different people here and it's kinda interesting. I believe this is a good chances for me to make more friends. The truth is, I'm scare. I'm scare to know the fact that this is the real life I have to live now, which I have never imagine before. I miss my home, my friends back then, I miss everything. For almost 18 years you’re taught to sit down, shut up, and raise your hand. Then you have to decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. Well, it's not that easy. I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I’d cry for a week. But then, I have to be strong and stay strong.

I don't know where this journey gonna take me, but I'm trusting in God. I know this is the work of his hands. 

Ocean (Where feet may fail)

Zion is the third studio album by Australian contemporary Christian band, Hillsong United. Production for the album began in March 2011 in Sydney, Australia. The album was released on 22 February 2014 for Australia and was released by 26 February 2013 internationally. 

One of my favourite song from this album is called Oceans (Where feet may fail). I really love the song as the lyric really connect me. I spend most of my time listening to this song when I feel down, confuse and depressed. 

You call me out upon the waters. The great unknown where feet may fail. And there I find You in the mystery in oceans deep, My faith will stand.

And I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand, Will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now.

So, I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, Wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger, In the presence of my Saviour. 

I will call upon Your name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in Your embrace. I am Yours and You are mine.