Somewhere, somehow, kinda missing the place..

I don't know why but suddenly I just miss this place a lot, Tambunan Sabah. I wish to go back and visit this place sometimes. 

What I miss the most is the panorama there, the fascinating view especially during the sunrise and sunset. Just by watching the paddy fields and feels the warm and fresh breeze, my heart went so serene. I'll never going to forget that feeling which I never felt before. 

And what I'm going to miss the most is to have this long walk along the paddy fields. It's so fun, the feeling was so wonderful. I don't know how to describe it. You have to experience it by yourself to get the 'feeling'. 

What's on my mind..

'And the records keep playing the old same song'. have you ever heard about this? hmm. We will never going to anywhere if we keep repeating the same old chapter. I'm broken and I'm blinded because everything I see is him. 

Never go back into an old love, no matter how strong it is, because it's like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends... I know I shouldn't but I did..

It's so easy to say I'm fine without him, but deep down inside, I'm hurt and I have to pretend I'm alright, smile and hold behind the tears because from what I see, he's doing fine without me. 

I Think

I think--I think when it's all over, It just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories. It just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It's not really anything he said or anything he did, It was the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again. 

But I don't know if I should.

I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me.

I guess I just lost my balance.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.

It was losing me.

  I knew you were trouble- Taylor S.

yeahh, I don't know why but no matter what he did that makes me hurt I still love him. maybe I just lose my mind. Even everyone keep telling me, we don't belong together. I just can't help myself.

The end of 2012; Summary

I've been really busy this few days with all the celebration. So let's see what had happen in the year of 2012. Definitely there's a lot going on which I can't say it all. The most remarkable are KONY2012, Olympic2012 and 'The Nganam Style'. 

And that's it. Just like that 2012 is now just a history. I can't remember everything that happen to me through the year. It full with so many different stories. Some of the story is about happiness, some are sad, frustration, heartbroken, sorrow, while most of them fall somewhere in between. Well, that will remain a memory that I will always remember and will keep makes me strong and live on. Through the year of 2012, I've learn so many important things in life which your teacher can't even teach you at school. I've learn the value of friendship, not to give up easily, fight for your heart desire, laugh while you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change.. 

On this new year, I hope I can still see the blue sky and dream on. I really hope the year of 2013 will bring me more luck and will be better than 2012. I also hope that I gain more courage and wisdom this year. My determination for this year, to give my all and I don't wanna cry any more and I will be a strong, strong person. 

Christmas 2012; Nothing To Be Told

I don't know if it was me or there's something else but the Christmas Celebration this year not so exciting like a few years ago, I meant the Christmas preparation, the decoration, and even there's no Christmas tree at all. I meant how can you celebrating Christmas without all the excitement feeling, the preparation, cookies, Christmas tree? I can't . . The worst part is, everyone(sister) is busy with their family, no family gathering. And there's me, all alone. Anyway, I'm really glad to have my friends around to cheer me up. Yeahh. My friends. That's it, my 2012 Christmas is something really gloomy and I really disappointed as Christmas suppose to be my favourite day of the year. hmm. what else to expect. But still, I thank God for his blessing in every way that had came upon me for the whole year. I believe on a happy day like Christmas, we can feel a little sad. That's life, isn't it? 

Christmas Eve ;)