Hello March: Bring Me Summer

1st of March, please be good. Goodbye to February, thanks for the all the sweet and bitter memory. Thanks for everything. 

There's so many things happen today. Firstly, it's my Sister's Birthday, so Happy Birthday to her. Wish her, all the best in everything she do. Today is also the closing ceremony for the sport day at my school, so kinda tired because I become one of the Emcees of the event. And the shocking news I just heard is, there's a war in Lahad Datu, Sabah now. I don't really know exactly, what is the army condition right now, but just pray for them. Pray for Sabah, hopefully no one gets hurt. Please bless us, dear God. 

It's been raining for about 2 months in my place, here in Telupid, Sabah, Malaysia. The weather gets me really confusing sometimes. I get tired and get bored with the rainy day, so please. Bring me summer, I miss to see the clear, blue sky, where there is a warm and peaceful breezy air. 

Pain

The most painful thing to see is when tears roll down someone’s face and they’re completely silent. I hate that feeling.

Not the kind of pain you get when you break your arm or wrist your toe, but the kind that makes your broken heart go into your throat, so that it takes all of your energy and concentration to breathe. The kind of pain that makes you want to scream and sob at the same time. The kind of pain that makes you want to hurt everyone around you because you're suffering and they're not, because they can breathe without feeling guilty and hold a normal conversation without breaking down into fits of tears or rage.. 

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

• to my parents: I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. I'm sorry I can't make good enough grades. I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations.
• to my friends: I'm sorry I can't keep a long term friendship with any of you. I'm sorry we lose connection after a while. I'm sorry I never stayed.
• to the people at my school: I'm so sorry I'm weird. I'm sorry I don't fit in. I'm sorry I don't look pretty like all you.
• to myself: I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry if I put you down. I'm sorry I made you miserable.

February: Month Of Love

''Sometimes love does not have the most honorable beginnings, and the endings, the endings will break you in half. It’s everything in between we live for.''

another day passing by.. everything seems so real for me now. 

and me? I've been thinking a lot lately. 

and yes, for a past few days before I've been so busy 

doing some stuff here and there. And I'm sick, I had a cold.