Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My English Essay : I will think about it later

Posted by Mizy Mizearly at Tuesday, October 25, 2011
This is some of my late, English essay entitle '' I will think about it later '' .

As we run towards the twilight,
I noticed that this is not real.
I wish I could touch your hand 
once again and let the memory 
live forever .....

        It draws my tears every time i read the poem written by him . He meant so much to me, more than just a friend . His poem reminds me of all the memories from the past . 
      I have known him since we were both in kindergarten . He is older than i am but he use to call me ''sister'' . He said that he really want a sister as he is the only child of the family . Since that day, he called me ''sister'' even though i told him not to do so . 
       In primary school, we went to the same school but we were in different classes . I hate it when i have to listen all his nonsense stories and his bad jokes . But after all he was my so called '' best friend '' . I can say that we had a lot in common and we use to spent time together on weekend . 
       As children getting older, i am getting older too as now, i am in the junior high school, together with him in the same class . I remembered that many of my favorite hobbies were because of his influence . I learned to play the guitar from him and i started martial arts classes because he had did the same . Up till today, as the years gone by, i sit here reminisce with my guitar . 
      I still remember the days when we used to have our own bicycles . That was my first bicycles and i wanted to have one that look just like his . Strange, but somehow he seemed to be a big influence on me in my early years . Maybe because i have feelings for him but i refused to admit it because i am afraid that it could spoiled our friendship . 
        Finally, we were both in senior high school . The day before prom night, he walked to my locker '' my date is sicked . She's not coming, so i didn't have another date '' . In 7th grade, we made this promise that if neither one of us had a dates,  we would go together just as '' best friend '' . I stared at him as he smiled at me . I wanted him to be mine but i know he's not thinking of me that way . I wanted to tell him that i don't want to be just friend because i love him but i am too shy to admit . 
         As the day pass to a weeks, then a months, before i could blink, it was graduation day . I watched him on the stage to get his diploma . Before everyone went home, he came to me and said '' you here, thanks for coming and thanks for everything '' . I have no idea what his meant . 
        A few years later, now i sat in the pews of the church, watching '' that guy '' getting married . I watched them to exchange their vows and then the bride said '' i do '' . As my tears draw out, that moment i was happy for him and yet i was thinking that '' it should be me to be your bride '' . Before he drove away, he came to me and said '' you come ! Thank you so much ! '', then he kissed me on the cheek . I really wanted him to know about my true feelings that i don't want to be just friend but i know everything is just too late now .   
       Years passed, i looked down at the coffin of a man who used to be my '' best friend '' . At the service, they read his personal diary during his high school years . This is what it read : 

'' I stared at her and wishing that she was mine, but I know she doesn't notice me that way . 
I wanted to let her know that I don't want to be just friends because I really love and care 
for her. But I am just too shy and I don't have the guts to tell her ....''

I wish I did too, I thought to myself and cried. What really made me regret now is not letting him knowing about the feelings I have for him. That was my biggest regret for the rest of my life . 
        ''Hey mommy, why are you crying?'' suddenly my daughter come and approach me while showing me her drawing, instantly make all the memories disappear for a while. I smile at her and at the same time I stare at my daughter, who is 5 years old. I could almost see her enacting some of the thing I did in the past . 
I am thinking to visit my best friend's grave, Peter, this weekend. But before that I have so many thing to settle down first, so maybe ''I will think about it later ''...

p/s : sorry for my grammatical error . do comment it :D


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