2019; Just Another Heart Breaking Year

Hi, lets start with that. So I know, I haven't writing anything for this past few months. It's just that, there are so many things came up this past few months. But lets not talk about it. 

It seems like things will never get better, and it feels like I was stuck in my current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time I finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock me back down, again.

These are the days that can either destroy or define us, and it's up to you to decide which path to take. 

And I hope what ever happen to you, don't let it destroy you. I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up and stay stationary. I hope you never feel like you won't get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow in just a few short years. 

But right now, I knew what I need to do but I don't know if I was strong enough to do it. I need to 'let go' of what ever that holding me back; things, place, people. I need to 'let go' everything that doesn't meant to stay to make room for the things that truly want to stay. 

And it ain't easy. I guess, I'm still trying to learn, where to begin. 

The New Year of 2018; 4 Months Too Late

I know it's kinda late to wish a Happy New Year of 2018, but they say 'better late than never'. 

2017; definitely the year that has taught me a lot. It has broke me once again, matured me, humbled me, blessed me and made me a better individuals, shape me into the person who I am today. What ever it is, I'm not gonna regret anything that happen in the past since I've learned a lot from it. The only things I regret the most is not taking the chances to enjoy every moment while I still have with the people I love and tell them how much they existence means a lot to me as I believe; in the end we only regret the chances we didn't take. 

2018; I can only hope for the best and believe that what is coming is better than what is gone. I don't ask for much, the only thing I wish is that may this year brings more happiness to me. I just wanted to be happy again and actually meant it. I don't have any new resolution since I'm still struggling to achieve the old one. 

Bachelor Degree in Arts (Music Studies)

So last November 2017, I finally had my Convocation at Dewan Canselor, UMS. After studying for 3 years at University Malaysia Sabah (UMS), I finally got my Degree in Music Studies. 

The past 3 years has been a wonderful journey and experience for me, meeting some awesome people and learning a cool new stuff and surely all the experience had taught me a lot; love and friendship

To be honest, I never taught I could finish my study and graduate with a Degree in Arts Field since I always love arts. I couldn't do it without the support from my family, especially my parents who always support me with financial, my lecturer who always have the passion to share their knowledge and of course my friends; my course mate who always there to support, help each other and share their knowledge. Truly, without them I don't think I can make it. 

Bach 2014-2017, missing some of them

After graduating, I only wish that everyone have their successful carrier and successful journey, for whatever they will pursue after this. I wish, we'll get to meet each and everyone again one day. 

With Love, Singapore

I always believe in true love, that when you truly love someone you can do all the impossible things and go against all the odd things that people say, you can't do. I know how crazy it sound and believe me, as crazy as it might sound, it's true and I've witnessed it. Love; it isn't about how long you've known someone or how how long you've loved the other person. Love is something you need to grow every day and two people need to work it out. Believe me, it's not gonna be easy and that's exactly the reason why you know that at the end of the day, it's gonna be worth. 

Well, this is not a typical love story you used to hear and even though I am a firm believer of that so called "true love", unfortunately mine wasn't turn out to be the way I hope it will be. I can only say that, my time hasn't come. Okay, anyway this story is not about me anyway. 

So, last August my whole family flew to Singapore for a wedding. Yeah, not just some typical family vacation, but to attend my sister's wedding. So everyone keep asking me why they held the wedding in Singapore? Does her husband is from Singapore? Well, not quite exactly. This is more than that and the reason is more complex than that. Well, remember when I say "do all the impossible things"? I meant it. I'm not going to make this so hard and I'm just going straight to the point. They were having a mix-marriage and that's why they doing it in Singapore. I guess by now, everyone should understand the reason why, right? 

My point is, what they did was truly the significant of what "true love" meant. When everyone keep saying that they not gonna make it, they did it; proving everyone that they did, they finally make it. Surely this gonna be the most memorable moment not just for my sister but also to everyone who witnessed the love they've shared and been fighting, for this past 10th years. Crazy, isn't it?

I guess, it's true that we gonna meet thousands of people in our life and none of them really touch you. And when you finally found the person, your "soulmate", your life is changed, forever. 

I'm sharing this, because it deserved to be shared and let this story inspired more people; that when you believe in "true love", there's nothing impossible. Trust me. At the end of the day, the things that matter the most are; how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of the things that not meant for you. - 31 August 2017, Singapore

Love? No right or wrong answer

It's been a while, I know right. So, I finish my study just a few weeks ago and will be having my intern very soon. I hope I'll be having more times to write after this. So, as I'm really bored and lonely spending time all by myself at home, I was thinking to write something on here. So here I am. This is just a random thought and I just think I need to jot this down.

What is love? 
We hear this word almost everyday. But what does it actually means? There's no right or wrong answer, of course. It's up to you to define it.

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, is your voice caught within your chest? That isn’t love, that’s just lust. Are you proud and eager to show them off? That isn’t love, it’s pride. 

Do you want them because you know they’re there? That isn’t love, it’s loneliness. Are you there because it’s what everyone wants? That isn’t love, it’s loyalty. Are you there because they kissed you or held your hand? That isn’t love, it’s low self esteem. 

Do you stay for their confessions of love because you don’t want to hurt them? That isn’t love, it’s pity. Do you belong to them because when you see them your heart skips a beat? That isn’t love, it’s infatuation. 

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? That isn’t love, it’s friendship. Do you tell them every day that they’re the only one you think of? That isn’t love, that’s a lie. Are you willing to give up your favorite things for their sake? That isn’t love, it’s charity. 

Does your heart break when they’re sad? That’s love. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? That’s love. Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close, and holds you there? That’s love. Do you accept their faults, because it’s part of who we are? That’s love. Are you attached to others but stay with your love, without regret? That’s love. 

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Does 'Love' really have a power like that? A power over you? Think.

Bid Farewell to 2016, Say Hi to 2017

So this is it; my first post since the last time couldn't remember. I know I've been gone for such a long time. To be honest I almost forget having this blog. I also thought to erase this blog since I couldn't keep it updated. Well, that what I thought. But then, I just couldn't simply throw away everything I had built for quiet a few years now. This is everything that reminds me of who I was, and who I am now. I decide to delete some of my old post which I thought doesn't really matter anymore. 

Done with that, ugh. So I guess 2016 has pass me by then. A lot of things happen actually but I couldn't remember some of it; not that it's not important anymore but because it is very important that I choose to live that moment. yeah. As odd as 2016 may have been, I could never forget all the lesson I've learnt. There's ups and downs, pain and heartbreak, but never once a regret. I still count all the blessing I have received and the one yet to come. 

My wish for this 2017, to be one of those amazing year just like the years before. No new resolution as I still find myself struggling to achieve the old one. I've been studying my degree in Music and this is my senior year, my final year. So I just wish the best of everything I do in future, well I don't know what the future holds, I can only pray for the best of it. Well, that's sums up everything. I'll try to update as many as I can next time. 

Blue Moon

Everything went so fast. 

It's new year and then it's 29th February, which we only get to live by every 4 years. But that's not the point because we get to live and grow up each day. 

We did. 

We all want to grow up, so desperate to get there, to grab all the opportunities we can; to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that nest, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there.

Really freakin' cold. 

Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind, and by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there 'alone' and I wonder if you ever look up there, is there anyone staring back? 

December words

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” - Chuck Palahniuk

12/3/2015

And maybe, just maybe we don't want to fall in love anymore because we know how easily the heart can be broke into a million tiny piece by any ways or words. We tend to question how it can be, why it happen; we forget that human is such a fragile creature that we often take for granted. We want people to understand yet we didn't understand our own selves. And often we forget that loving someone means we are ready to feel every possibility that our heart might never be the same again; either we feel content, and other wise we might lose the other part of our heart.