Saturday, July 9, 2011

I don't feel anything

Posted by Mizy Mizearly at Saturday, July 09, 2011
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we're all broken. we all have those thing that keep us up at night and wishing we were someone else or someplace else. we spend our days regretting the decisions that we made a long time ago and wish we can go back and change the thing to make it better . we hope for the best wishing that someday everything will be okay. we might be broken but we are held together by the moments and days when we feel lost and scared. 

i can't explain the way i feel, not even to myself. when people ask me the question 'why' and i can't never explain to them . even the thing that i'm sure of i'm not actually sure of. does that make sense ? i can't put my feelings into words. i can't explain the way there is something gnawing inside of my stomach, fireworks exploding inside of my bones, swallowed words screaming, trapped inside my lung. i can't describe the way it feels too long for someone or to be afraid. i can't explain the way i'm happy being sad or the way i hate being sad at the same time or the way i like sleeping because of how it feels to be away for those hours, trapped in my mind where there is no one to hurt me. we are all trapped inside ourselves. maybe that's what death is. 

and right now, i don't feel anything. it can't hurt me anymore. 

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